I know that God leads us on different paths.
Some dear friends had one child. Only one. That wasn’t their desire, that is simply what God gave.
Meanwhile, I seem akin to a baby Pez dispenser.
Some moms have their children, move through the diaper years, then briskly – even eagerly - head on to the next stage.
I’ve been stalled in the “changing diaper” stage for 15 years. And explosive diapers aside, this is where I want to be.
Some women serve in neonatal units – truly saving fragile infant lives during the weekend – while raising their own children every day. I am grateful for them and for the many who give of themselves to help others. I have known amazing mothers from every walk of life. Many work much harder than I do and balance many roles, and I’m touched at what they sacrifice in order to meet their children’s needs.
I could have chosen those paths, and almost did! But that is not what God has had for me.
I find myself called ever more strongly to my children, to my husband, and to our families.
I am urged to be less to the world, for now, and more to them. On the one hand, my eldest will be old enough to leave the nest in four short years. On the other, our youngest hasn’t yet safely arrived. Yet, hopefully, by continuing investment in the eight young ones who are closest to me, I will eventually impact a much larger circle. Prayerfully, I will maximize my influence many times over.
I give up many things for now, even good things. For example, I am unable to teach a children’s class at church at this present time, but I have already trained three excellent helpers and have more on the way. I will replace myself 8 times over, if the Lord is willing. I could “do” more, yet neglect their training. Then there would be one worker (me) but children who did not care nor see the necessity of working themselves for God’s Kingdom.
Yes, given this – a mother’s opportunity to influence the generation to come – I’d love to have a dozen children. And then, I’d like to adopt at least a half a dozen more. Instead of making a shallow difference in the lives of many, I pray to make a monumental difference in the lives of a few.
This does not denigrate another’s path. This is how I, how we, as husband and wife are called, ever more deeply.
Less busyness, more purpose.
Less filling time to keep kids busy, more time spent together.
Less pleasing a crowd, more nurturing those closest to us.
Less clutter, more room to focus on things that matter.
Less self, more service.
More giving, more growing, more deepening.
For this time, He calls to less of some things, so there is more room for others.
A question for you to quietly answer: Where is He leading you?
July 22, 2007 at 1:16 pm |
i love to hear how God has called you because there is no judgement for those whose lives are different, for whatever reason.
I feel like God is calling us for change… yet I am not sure what exactly. only that it will be different in the way we live our every day lives. It involves less stuff and clutter, less of “me” time while the kiddos are up, possibly stopping teaching piano… I don’t know… we’ll see.
July 22, 2007 at 3:26 pm |
You focused on “less” and I seem to be focusing on the word “more” and yet I know our goals would be in the same direction.
More patience
More time spent in the Word
More time in prayer
More focused on the right priorities
I feel like such a failure sometimes. Running in every imaginable direction and never really accomplishing anything. Then I procrastinate certain things until it is an all night task. Like how do you all do bills and balancing the checkbook, etc. during the day when all the kids are up? Talk about needing more patience! Just trying to accomplish little details sometimes leaves me exasperated! I need more of God’s presence! And how do I accomplish this? Usually by leaving God out and cramming more details into my life. I know I have it all backwards. Please pray for me!
July 22, 2007 at 6:16 pm |
Darlene, you are not a failure. You cannot be a failure. You are the mother of many, and you love and nurture them all!
You practice His presence all day long. ALL DAY! He is with you when you grab a scripture as you dive into your day, and as you meditate on it all throughout your day as you do laundry and cook and pay bills. He ministers to your soul as you drive the kids somewhere, as you hear your children laugh and take care of your beloved husband.
Yeah – it’s a crazy life, isn’t it? It is so hard, sometimes, to be on top of it – or to at least FEEL like we are on top of things. Does anyone here actually feel that they have life under control??? I DO pray that He will give you peace, and show you what to accomplish – when, and what to cut out.
Much love -
July 22, 2007 at 6:38 pm |
Renee – I do believe every conscientious mother should have certain priorities , and those priorities are very important to keep relationships as they should be within the family and to fulfill what God asks of her. How these might play out and what they might look like depends on how God is leading the individual woman and her family. We are made differently and able to handle different things. In the end, it is up to each of us to ask God what He has for us – to truly ask, not to impute our desires and plans and goals upon Him – and then it is up to us to listen and obey.
I stand on one principle, however, that God does not ask us to sacrifice our own husbands and children for our own gain nor glory.
July 22, 2007 at 6:50 pm |
Oh and…Renee….I wasn’t implying anything personal about or toward you….(not at ALL!!!)
I was just clarifying that I don’t think that “anything goes” absent God’s guidance – rather that everything we consider should be held up to the question of “What does He have for us?”
July 23, 2007 at 3:54 am |
its ok, I didn’t take it as such, and I didn’t mean you are ok with anything goes
Don’t you love how some of us benc over backwards to make sure we don’t offend. You are so sweet! 
I have had it suggested to me that I am doing too much, etc, and that maybe I shouldn’t be leading worship. Its true. It takes up much of my time. It makes things stressful at times (my problem not the ministry). And if I quite I would DEFINITELY have more time for my family! But when my family suffers, its because of other things. He hasn’t given me more than I can juggle / handle without the family suffering. But there are times when they do suffer because I am not trusting or using my time wisely.
It just happens in my current circumstance that there is not a lot of room for me to be a bad steward of my time… if I do, something suffers, and it often ends up affecting the family.
speaking of, my children are hungry… and I send one more sentence …
July 23, 2007 at 3:55 am |
agh… good luck reading through all the spelling errors!
July 23, 2007 at 4:23 am |
Holly, thank you so much for sharing such a beautiful vision of motherhood. It is very inspiring. You have had such a great influence on me, as I am in the earlier days of this mothering journey. It is all too easy to wish away these baby days, to get lost in the boredom of feedings/housework etc, not truly embracing the gifts in my life.
I do feel God calling me to truly LIVE my days (not just go through the motions). To show up for my life. To accept the mundane and to find Him in it. And in this, I am finding that the mundane isn’t actually mundane…that God IS actually here with me and that my work as a mother is important. And that I can find joy in things I never though I could.
July 23, 2007 at 9:52 am |
Thank you for this post. It really spoke to me. We moved here about a year ago. At our former church, I led a large women’s group, taught Sunday School, and participated in a number of other ministries/functions. I loved doing it all. Before we moved, I knew that God was calling me to be “home” after the move. And I am more available to my husband, more available to my children, moving ever closer to adding two to our family. I am loving it, yet I often wonder where I should get involved at our church, where I should be serving, where I should be putting in the effort. I feel guilty for not taking on something. It is good to be reminded that God’s call is what is best. It is good to know that I am not the only one. Thanks again!
July 23, 2007 at 10:42 am |
Oh thank you so much for this post! I LOVED the paragraph about replacing yourself 8 times over and how if you did more, there would be only one worker. I really like that thought. I have cut back and come home and God has drastically changed our family over the last 3 years. It is still a struggle for me to know that they need volunteers at church and I will not be among them.
I liked what Holly said…I think there are different paths for each woman, but some things are the same for all Christian women. And putting husbands and children before other things is one of those. God. Husband. Children. Home. That’s the way I read it. It can look different and goodness knows a few years ago I hadn’t even thought about what God wanted for my life–even though I was a Christian. I pray for the women who don’t seem to have family and home at the top of their list. I pray God will show them the peace and joy of doing things His way.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this.
July 23, 2007 at 5:52 pm |
Less busyness, more purpose.
Less filling time to keep kids busy, more time spent together.
Less pleasing a crowd, more nurturing those closest to us.
Less clutter, more room to focus on things that matter.
Less self, more service.
More giving, more growing, more deepening
Thank you for this powerful post. The part I quoted really spoke to me. I think I know these things, I just need to apply them to my own life more.
Blessings,
Annette
July 23, 2007 at 9:23 pm |
Rats. I need to remember to either be logged in or logged out when I comment here. Yes, Holly and the Reverend’s Wife are the same annoying person…ME!
Jenn, what you mentioned is the perfect illustration. At one time, God was calling you to something. At another stage of life, He called you to something else. You listened, and obeyed. Thru obedience we find great joy and fulfillment and satisfaction – even if it is difficult at times.
I know that I won’t be in this particular stage forever – although it seems so at times! I (personally) don’t believe that my priorities will change – as Brenda mentioned – they will remain God, husband, family and then reaching outward – but how all of that happens probably will change. (And as an aside – the further we go in this journey it doesn’t even necessarily seem important to separate some of those things: Husband, family and home kind of just go hand in hand – and reaching out together as a family seems as natural as breathing, too. Maybe it’s just practice that has made it seem easier? Living together, spending time together – helps us observe and realize each other’s needs more easily and since our hearts are tuned in to each other we WANT to fix what needs to be fixed and serve those within our household on a consistent basis. Not that we can do any of these things without God’s direct help – He gives the grace and the understanding and the ability….but it just seems to me to get easier – like a machine that is in optimum working order.)
I have good friends in almost every stage of life. Some have children who are grown who are called to do more within their local church. Some are called to overseas missions to serve as a family. Some are called to be involved grandparents. Some are called to both a large family and to run orphanages or to adopt sibling groups. Listening and obeying his voice is the key for all of us!
July 23, 2007 at 9:59 pm |
I can’t begin to describe how deeply this touched me.
It puts into words how I’ve felt for several years now, but knew not how to speak it to others.
I feel relieved, purposeful, and so thankful, Holly.
July 24, 2007 at 4:55 am |
So right on! “Instead of making a shallow difference in the lives of many, I pray to make a monumental difference in the lives of a few.
Your words in this post express my heart these days.
God is purging, refining, and drawing me to “hunker down” with Him.
For His vision.
So good.
God bless sweet Holly.
July 24, 2007 at 10:28 am |
Enjoyed the post and the comments. I feel that I should slow down but it seems I don’t know where to start. Everything seems a worthy activity especially those at church but I fear my family is getting short changed sometimes. I will prayerfully consider what I should do.
July 24, 2007 at 7:34 pm |
Well said Holly. Much to think on. Once again, you inspire me!
July 30, 2007 at 2:19 am |
Thankyou for this post. You have a great way of looking at things and putting them into words that make such good sense. And you are so right, less is definiatly more sometimes. Sometimes the best days are spent doing nothing much more than just being together. THankyou for reminding me of that.
Suzy Q
July 31, 2007 at 8:01 pm |
Hey, Holly. I have a new blog! http://pauseforamoment.wordpress.com/ Pop in when you have a moment to breathe again!!!
love, Valerie
August 1, 2007 at 11:29 am |
“Instead of making a shallow difference in the lives of many, I pray to make a monumental difference in the lives of a few.”
Ouch!
I’ve forgotten this important concept. I was hugely active in our church before having my babies, and slowly dropped out of everything while they were little, feeling so selfish (after all most of the other moms who have way more children than me somehow find a way to “do it all” right?) but sticking to my guns. Then, beginning last summer, I’ve been walking ever deeper into the ocean waters of church service till lately I’ve felt like I’m treading water. And still there are others that do more than me, oh how I regret that we moms are made to feel guilty for wanting to stay home and put our families first!
This was a must read to me right now, Holly. I’m going to actively pursue someone ELSE to direct the Christmas program.
I need to frame that quote, stick it in my purse and bring it out when I’m tempted to “say yes” all the time.
Thanks for another encouraging, heart-probing post! Yowsers!
August 13, 2007 at 5:50 pm |
[...] at Seeking Faithfulness made a profound statement the other day. She said, “Instead of making a shallow difference in the lives of many, I pray [...]