The Great Adventure

This post is way too long. I’m aware of that. There’s just so much to tell. Much to catch new readers up on, and much to let family and friends in on. It’s hard to know when to start and when to stop in the telling! I thought of breaking it up into two posts, but that seems to drag it out too long. Suffer with me, if you dare!

Two years ago around this same time of year we were living a crazy life.

We had a new baby, our home was remodeled and placed on the market, and Jeff was the pastor of a thriving congregation. We thought that we had outgrown our home, and that some changes were in order.

It was so overly busy, so tiring; the message that we believed we heard from God was “Buckle up. It’s going to be an adventure.” That encouraged us to keep going, to be strong, to keep walking forward through what seemed a whirlwind, and to grow as we went.

We moved in July of ‘06, and settled in to a rental property while we looked for a home to buy. In January ‘07, we came to believe that God was asking us to move closer to my parents, a move that would be across the country. As we looked over our lives, we questioned whether we should remain in the pastorate. Some of our children were teens – the years we would have with them were growing short. The traditional pastoring job holds many, many stresses, and despite what you might think – is not always conducive to growing family life. Many times, the pastor’s wife shoulders much of the family responsibilities, because Dad is so busy. My parents needed care, Jeff needed a break, and our children needed more Mom and Dad – together. The course seemed clear.

Jeff had the opportunity to have hip resurfacing surgery in April of ‘07. Shortly before his surgery, we learned we were expecting baby number eight. It was a major surgery – a very hard time for both of us.

Ah, so this was what YHWH was talking about when He said…”Buckle up. Hold on tight. Trust me.”

We both had this feeling that this wasn’t all that there was, though. Not to place too much weight on emotions…but we were pretty sure the adventure would continue.

And continue it did.

We learned that I had developed an rh problem somewhere along the line. I had an Anti E antigen issue – which meant that my blood recognized the baby’s blood as an invader. It could be perfectly fine, or it could involve some heavy medical intervention. It was a potentially scary time. We were in the middle of planning a move, Jeff was seeking a job, and we weren’t sure if we even COULD move if things were unstable with the baby. All of these things were deep matters of concern. Problems piled up against one another like flotsam in a stream.

We could panic, or we could accept the opportunity to trust, and to grow. Personally, I would have panicked – but Jeff chose to grow. After each meltdown, he would scrape me up and set me back on the path of trust, challenging me to stay the course and not lose sight of the end goal – which was to become more like Him.

The baby seemed to be doing okay. All blood tests came back with excellent levels. We found a doctor to accept us in transfer, and she was just wonderful and encouraging. It still seemed like there was something else that was going to be asked of us.

The move day approached, and Jeff still did not have the “security” of a job. He had gone through several interviews with a company, and we thought something would surely work out with that. Things were very uncertain as we searched for a house. We could have rented, but that would involve another move. What to do, if there was no job, how does one know how much they are able to invest into a home?

Just a three weeks before our move, we found a house for an unbelievable price of $16,500. I know that amount seems insane, even for a small, midwestern town. But that’s what we paid, outright, for our home. God provided something that would be ours, no mortgage, nothing owed on it. Yes, it needed work – but so have each of the homes that we have owned. It is a great learning experience for our kids to be able to work alongside their Dad as he makes repairs.

The job we thought we had fell through. We weren’t too worried, because we had moved within close proximity of a decent-sized town. Surely jobs would abound.

It wasn’t as easy as we thought. Jeff put in so many applications, day after day after day. It’s hard to say just “why” the process has been so difficult. We think it could be overqualification for many jobs, and underqualification for other jobs. The managerial level of the job market seems so highly specialized these days. Jeff used to work as a Purchaser before entering the pastorate, so he does have experience in the manufacturing field. This time, he was changing fields entirely, and something was obviously lost in translation! My Dad just kept saying, “It just isn’t the right time, then.” Truth be told, he was right.

So, these have been tough months. My faith has wanted to wander, to falter…to downright question and fail. My husband has been much stronger. He has never stopped believing that we heard from God, that we had taken the right path, that God would be glorified through our trials. I know that as the breadwinner for a family of 10, he has had his moments of “white knuckle faith,” but he has stood firm. I have learned so much from him through these days. I’ve learned yet again what a good man is made of.

It has been amazing how God has provided for us. One of the first families we met were organic gardeners. As fall came, they had such a bounty they didn’t even know what to do with it. They shared bushel after bushel of wonderful food with us. There is the most amazing thrift store about 6 blocks from our house. My parents have shared with us, as well. We’ve never been hungry, we’ve had what we need. God has always provided in one way or another, and we’ve learned contentment at a whole new level. If he didn’t provide it – we probably didn’t need it.

We’ve found not only a home, but such a welcoming community. There are friends who are interested in many of the same things: organic gardening, natural medicines, homeschooling, etc. Our large family has been greeted quite warmly, as something to be desired not as something weird! We’ve entered a place where there is a large homeschooling community, and they are well-connected.

There are many times God has provided over and beyond. He’s given even the little things that let us know how much He cares. After three little boys in a row, my heart was delighted to have a tiny girl to dress. Several times, I have opened packages sent from friends that contained pink ruffly things. He even cares about those longings!

Following Mariam’s birth, I was a little sad over a very trivial thing. I have this “notion” that all children are so special, it just seems wrong if there are no flowers to celebrate their arrival. Well, my husband had no extra money for flowers, and flowers certainly aren’t “practical.” I told myself that, but still, my heart was sad.

When she was a week old, one of our new acquaintances brought over a meal. She also brought a tiny vase of flowers – probably picked from another arrangement, but they were just beautiful to me! A couple of weeks after that, the roses in my front yard bloomed! In early December, I had two gorgeous yellow roses. In our climate, this was unreal to me. He cares!

I’ve even been given the gift of a mentor, which is something I’ve longed for my entire life. God has sent Linda, a mama of six who has already raised and home educated three sons of her own and has three girls at home. This godly woman has taken me under her wing, and has already taught me so much as it relates to loving Him and her husband and children.

There was a time throughout these months when I almost applied for governmental help. I walked out of the WIC office shaking, not liking that feeling at all. We’ve always been the “givers,” those giving a hand up. To be in this new position of need was so different, so uncomfortable. I have new understanding and compassion for those who DO need the help. I personally felt challenged to continue to rely on God for His provision, to wait upon Him for His proper timing. He did not, did not, did not fail. Within just a few days of my falter with fear – He provided for us in some mighty big ways – without our mentioning a word to anyone.

I am so thankful to YHWH as He has led us. While this time has been so hard and so uncomfortable – it has been so faith building. I hesitate to say that EVERYONE needs to go through a time like this – because it is so hard – but it does test the mettle. You either crash or grow. ALL praise goes to our Heavenly Father.

This entire adventure has not been just about Jeff and I. It has been about our children, too. They have lived the struggle between faith and fear. They’ve watched and been encouraged to choose joy during tough days. They’ve known the hard times – AND – they’ve rejoiced when God has provided. I can say that I believe all children should be so fortunate.

Jeff is in his first week at his new job. He is working for a private social services agency to mentor troubled teen boys and to mediate for families who are working toward reunification. I believe he is well suited to this job, given his calm, quiet strength and peacemaking abilities. He is compassionate, yet strong. This job seems to translate well from the pastorate.

And so, this adventure seems somewhat at rest. I’m praying for a little breather before the next one begins.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow,

Still seeking faithfulness – MORE than ever,

Holly