The art and science of managing many little ones, part 2

Our current alignment of children has resulted in four older children, and four who are five years old and under. (Three who are three and under. That means lots of wiping…) Two of our little boys are just wild men. They are so precious, so beloved, but have so much energy. They regularly spur one another on to something other than “good works.”

You saw a video of my Sam a while back. The video exaggerated nothing. He is a perpetual motion machine. Like many three year olds, he is full of highs and lows. My Benjamin will turn two next month. He is mechanically gifted. There is not a tube or jar or lock that he can not open, nothing that he will not attempt to flush. Sam and Ben are bosom buddies and all, but they are also naturally born antagonists. I’m waiting for the Lord to reveal the reasoning for two little mayhem creators who are seventeen months apart, tacked between a slightly older boy and a newborn girl. I know He has His plans…I just need to remain faithful to raising these young’uns. Right now, I’m pretty sure they have plans to take over the world…

Just how to raise them, to subdue them, to train them…without hoisting a white flag of surrender? (And of course, not every child needs subduing. I wish to break nothing in them, just smooth those things that need smoothed and strengthen those things which need to be strengthened…) That is the question I struggle with nearly every day. And of course there are the other children that need love, encouragement, discipleship, and their essays graded. God sent these children, which I also firmly believe means He thinks I can do the job. (Sometimes that means having help when the children are all little, not that the mother has to do it all herself.)

People often point out the fact that I have older children who can help. Indeed I do, and they are priceless. Most young mothers would sell their wisdom teeth to have the helpers that I have.

But my older children are not my younger children’s parents. (Although at times they seem to mistake this fact.) My husband and I are the parents, and as such, are responsible for the teaching and training of our little ones. We have worked hard over the years to fully integrate our older children into family life, to make sure that they feel “ownership” and accept familial responsibilities…and that is purposeful. I feel comfortable asking them to help me, out of love, out of duty. I do not feel comfortable making them raise their siblings while I sit back and do nothing. Child-rearing and child-training belong to us as parents.

The buck stops here, baby. Yes, we have helpers, and that is something that many younger parents do not have. We lived thru those early years with no help, however, and we still remember. We also still have plenty to do!

Since I am back to a stage with lots of little ones, I’m still in the process of developing strategies. (Strategy might seem like the wrong word, but if you’ve ever tried to manage 8 children, you will know that it is precisely the word needed.) Installment 3 will give a few practical ideas.

(I hope that this will cover my previous promises to write about home-education with littles, and also the practical vs. emotional side of adjusting to life with a newborn. Trying to multi-task here….)