Since I’ve just come off of several days of closet, dresser and room sorting, the question this week falls along those lines:
How important is it to you that your children keep their rooms clean? Do you expect them to keep it neat all of the time? Once a week? Once a month? Do you let them have their own space and keep it as they wish? Reasons?
April 21, 2008 at 12:11 pm |
I like my kids to have their rooms orderly. It doesn’t need to be perfect. My oldest (10) will get her room messy and then clean it when she is tired of it being messy. She does a great job. She organizes all her stuff. My other two (9, and 6) who share a room can’t keep it clean for longer than 10 minutes. My youngest is a tornado. Mess happens all around her. My middle is a packrat. She keeps every little scrap of anything. We are listing our house soon and I needed to clean out their rooms. When I got it all organized I realized they still had too much stuff so I took our more, most all of what they have accept for a box of dress ups, legos, and a bookshelf with a few books. I tole them when they can keep that neat they can have something else back. It’s all packed and at the new house already. It is much easier for them to keep their room neat, but somehow it still manages to get messed up. I am convinced that stuff just grows in there.
Susan
April 21, 2008 at 2:25 pm |
Two words.
CONSTANT. BATTLE.
Ugh. It was so much worse when all 4 shared one room. Recently we added bedrooms and now there are 2 kiddos in each room and a spare room. (whoo-hoo!… oh wait, here comes the baby).
Anyway, we’re finding that as they grow up they start to care a bit more, and I somewhat see the light at the end of the tunnel. If I had my way, it would be tidy all the time, but I don’t make a huge deal out of it. About once a week I announce “get the floor ready to vacuum” and they hop to it and then they can start making NEW messes.
April 21, 2008 at 7:08 pm |
This is a bone of contention between my daughter and me. But I see how my eldest son went through a phase of not cleaning his room, arguing about the fruitlessness of making one’s bed (you know the argument!) and now, he takes time on his own, no provoking on my end, to clean his space. I’m hoping my daughter will see the light in a few years and am content to keep her door closed.
My other son’s room faces the front door, or is visible when one walks in so I require they keep their room tidy. But for some odd reason they like their room tidy. Go figure! Both are still at that stage where they listen to me and follow my lead! ; )
April 21, 2008 at 8:52 pm |
Holly, I’m actually twitching over this one today. Husband and I had a long discussion about our 8 year olds room last night. She is “challenged” in this area. Straightening it up is a part of her morning chores, but it’s NEVER clean. NEVER tidy. NEVER “done”. I have worked with her so hard this year to be sure she knows what to do when sent in there. It’s not working.
It is important to me b/c I always had a messy room and guess what? It translates into your house when you are an adult. I tell her this is like her little house to practice on for when she is a wife and mommy.
We decided at least part of it is lack of responsibility so there will be consequences beginning this week. It’s time to crack down. But FIRST, I will be majorly decluttering in there. Without her in my presence. It will help, I know.
I WOULD LOVE SOME IDEAS FOR HELPING WITH THIS!!!!!
April 21, 2008 at 9:05 pm |
Straightening up their rooms is one of their daily chores. They are young ( 7, 5 and 2) so it never get as clean as I would like, but they are learning. I do help the younger ones most of the time and my 7 year old gets my help once a month so we can get rid of some of her clutter. We started the daily routine when we moved into our current house. Their rooms are much smaller and it seems if we let it go a few days the mess takes over and it becomes an all day mommy job.
April 21, 2008 at 9:53 pm |
Our rule is that clothes need to be off the floor (being a good steward) and there needs to be a path. We go through “stuff” once a month and get rid of excess–with 4 sets of grandparents plenty of aunts and uncles and being the only grand-kids/nieces/nephews they get too much stuff.
I help them downgrade their stuff–no packratting allowed (they can store favorite things in a bag in the attic for when they get older but otherwise they are expected to share their excess with others.)
April 21, 2008 at 10:58 pm |
Pumpkin’s room has to be reasonably clean. To me, this means that the bed looks like she made a good effort to get it made the right way, the clothes are all where they need to be, and 80% of toys and stuff is put away. I don’t mind if she has a few stragglers that are out, since she likes to arrange them on her bed and window sills as some weird kind of decoration. Our only area of difficulty is that she doesn’t put her books away correctly on her bookcase. She stacks them instead of lining them up, no matter how many times I correct her.
I want her to feel comfortable reading and playing in her room. That is hard to do when it is a wreak. If she has been playing in there a lot, then she cleans her room every evening. I can’t stand tripping over things when I check in on her at night.
April 21, 2008 at 11:32 pm |
Once a day. Until recently they cleaned their room while I did read alouds so I was present, they were “moving” because I was there, and it got done relatively quickly and well. But now that it is getting nice, there is no way I am going to be stuck doing read alouds in the house, so we have started doing bedroom cleanup first thing in the morning after family devotions. I gave up having us all work on our own rooms because the kids just are not productive enough. So we ALL start in my room and “make the rounds. It takes about 5 min’s in each room and we go downstairs knowing that the “upstairs” is already in tip top shape. It feels good! We also are not sidetracked or procastinating because we all want breakfast!
April 22, 2008 at 12:51 am |
I like it reasonably clean.
One way I make sure that happens is severely limit what is allowed in the bedroom, and they do their dressing in the all purpose room, so laundry can go straight in the basket.
April 22, 2008 at 1:00 am |
Okay…What about parents of older kids? Is this a hill you choose to die on?
I am a total whack job….because theoretically, I’d say it shouldn’t be a big deal. But when I walk through, I can’t stand the clutter They pretty much have learned that I don’t mind their having “things,” as long as they keep it clean. They have also learned (the older ones) that if I walk through their room(s) and they are TRASHED, I *might* be tempted to grab a trash bag and start pitching.
They really CAN clean it all up pretty well. Once every few months, I need to give them impetus to dust and deep clean….
I’ve worked MUCH harder with my little ones to TRY to teach them to pick up and put away their things, every day. I’m not so good at requiring bed-making, though I think I should.
Because our house is small, MY bed does not stay made. I’ll make it, then a couple of little boys will wrestle on it, and it gets messed up. Then, another little one will nap in it, and it will be messed.
I guess, then, having written this, that my style is fairly moderate!
April 22, 2008 at 1:37 am |
Our kids are still little (6,5,2&1) but we expect them to pick up their rooms twice a day, on average. Before quiet time (naps) and before bedtime. Plus any other time I happen upon their room and start screaming “Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!”….
I’m a neat freak who loves to organize, my dh hates clutter – so I’m guessing even when they are older, they will be expected to keep things relatively organized and picked up. Plus they will always be sharing a room, so out of respect for their siblings, they will have to keep their stuff in order.
Mine still like to clean and have things looking nice, so we’ll see how I handle things as they get older…
~Lori
April 22, 2008 at 1:41 am |
I do try to ask my kids to clean up daily, but I’ll also let them leave stuff out…IF they are in the midst of something that has been really creative and I know that we are going to be at home the next morning.
Also we have finally figured out what works for the toy situation in our house. We have a big basket in the family room. It holds a bunch of toys, and every few months we rotate those toys. (We also have about 4 big bins in the basement that we use for the rotation.) This keeps the toys in the basket fresh, as they literally only see them for a couple of months out of the year. The children have a box under their beds where they are allowed to keep whatever they want, so long as the box can slide neatly under the bed. This keeps the rooms looking nice and tidy. Finally the rest of the toys are stored in the basement in bins that the children can easily access. They are generally allowed to get one bin out at a time, unless they have good reason (like Barbie wants to ride the horses). I guess my point is that we’ve tried to make things really simple for the kids; it helps them keep their stuff picked up when they are not playing with it…and it keeps me from always barking at them or being frustrated that they “get everything out at once!”
April 22, 2008 at 1:52 am |
This is an area I’m trying to let up on a little. All of our bedrooms are upstairs, so it’s relatively easy to keep them from taking food, drink or toys upstairs to their rooms. The floor has to be cleaned (for the most part, anyway), clothes have to be put where they belong and there needs to be at least an attempt to making their beds before we come downstairs for breakfast. I start training them to clean up their rooms very early on. The girls (7 and 5) are responsible for their room and the boys (3 and 2) are responsible for their room.
The downstairs, however, where the rest of life is lived…. THAT’S a different story!
Jennifer
April 22, 2008 at 2:33 am |
We try to have them clean everything off the floor at least once a day, often multiple times. Our house it just too small to leave everything strewn all over the living areas for any huge length of time.
They do where things go, so that’s a plus. Now if I could only get them to put stuff away when they’re done with them– ‘course I’m not very good at that either!
April 22, 2008 at 3:14 am |
Since we are blessed with a separate room for toys we try to keep things out of their room. Daniel has a tendency to put everything in his bed that is movable. Right now that includes a dozen little Pooh books and about a zillion small animals. We don’t keep clothes in his room. Everyday I would put clothes in their place and everyday he would empty them into his bed, so now all of their clothes are in a central closet in the living room (or will be once we finish hanging the shelves–we just got rid of the dresser in there that was taking up too much space). It is really much easier in the long run (doing laundy, getting dressed, cleaning up, packing when they are asleep, ironing when they are asleep).
We are learning to make beds so that gets done every day. We have a great game. After breakfast I will call out in a scary voice “Who’s been sleeping in Mommy’s bed?” This is their cue to start running for our bed, which they do laughing and screaming. I chase them up there and then jump on them and we have a tickle fest, which is also good for Daniel’s therapy. Then we make the bed (it is amazing what kid’s can do because in just a week Daniel can almost do it by himself). When ours is done I say “Who’s been sleeping in Daniel’s bed?” And we all run in there and repeat. Then we do the same for Anne Marie’s room, except in her room we lay in bed and read aloud before we make the bed.
I am also trying to teach them to vaccum with the little vaccum once a week. This is easy since there is not much in there. They do tend to bring in toys so that has to be cleaned out every once in a while. We also have a feather duster that they like so I plan to incorperate that into the routine soon. I am also teaching Daniel to swish the toilets. He does that one with a little too much vigour so much supervision is required. It takes a little time to train them for the job but they like helping and I hope to build good habits into them from an early age. I, personally, have a problem with consistence so this helps me as I am teaching them.
By thy by, from a comment you made over at Molly’s, Holly, can I ask why you are not commenting over at the TW site?
April 22, 2008 at 3:46 am |
My 7 kiddos range in age from just-turned-1 to turning-21 tomorrow.
While I would dearly love to have a perfectly neat home with spotless bedrooms ~ it just doesn’t happen. A whole bunch of people and a couple of dogs & cats in a 975 sq ft 3 bedroom house doesn’t really set one up for success…
My bedroom is often the messiest in the house & the bed is rarely made;
we keep the clothes & some of the shoes for 5 people in there (3 youngest & my husband’s and mine), cloth dypes for the 3 little ones are easily accessible….. the movie collection is stored in there… so is the tub of outgrown clothes (with the intent of putting all sizes in their appropriate bins out in the shop – but that is such a pain it usually only happens if comapany is coming – REAL company – the kind your house has to be spotless for…) the baby sleeps bed with us, so about the only time I have to actually work on picking up my room – she’s sleeping in it….
I have a hard time expecting something out of my children that I can’t seem to accomplish myself. Granted, they don’t have a little one in their bed… oh,wait – yes, they do
my thinking is this ~ yes, we need to take care of what we have, but no, it doesn’t need to consume us. If the mess is because of laziness or some other ungodly quality, then we should address it. If we have too much stuff – we should purge. If the mess is because we live a busy life full of serving, well, we should probably keep things picked up as best we can & just settle for a bit messier home than we’d prefer at this stage of life.
April 22, 2008 at 3:51 am |
My daughter’s room is often a mess. So is my son’s, but they are 4 and 2. I expect them to clean it up before bed – although some days it doesn’t happen and that’s okay. Perfection is not the point. Character is. My theory – of which I am trying to instill in my daughter- is that her room is a reflection of her. I also try and lead by example – I keep my room/house very neat, and orderly – making my bed every morning etc.
-Andrea
April 22, 2008 at 3:59 am |
Oh, this is a constant battle for me. I like my whole house clean all the time but have had to let some of that go in order for harmony to reign in our home. For me, the bigger matter is respecting your things and taking care of them. When I see wet towels on our new carpet or some new shirt can’t be found because it is lost in the swirling vortex of sweet teenager’s room, then I get upset. The hardest part is the balance. I have learned to pick my battles so our teen is expected to clean it once a week and I try to not make it an issue unless it gets really out of hand. Beds are made every day though no matter what.
April 22, 2008 at 5:26 am |
Hey Leigh Ann…
Just NO time!
I don’t usually jump into too many conversations!
April 22, 2008 at 6:24 am |
I understand. I find that I start a conversation and then don’t have the time and energy to continue it until the end, especially because it seems like I pick “fights” where I am outnumbered.
April 22, 2008 at 9:06 pm |
My whole house will never, never, never be completely clean. (Oh, I wish…but I just don’t think it will happen.)